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I really like this, mainly because it is very true. Next time you’re feeling down look at the way you are standing! It may help… it may not, but it is definitely worth a shot.
Having said that, this morning while riding my bike to work I was unfortunately caught behind a garbage truck. This has never happened to me before and let me assure you that it smelt foul! In this instance holding my head high would have caused greater depression
This is my “depressed stance”. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve go to stand like this. – Charlie Brown
“Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.” – Unknown
Three quick things I want to say today:
First things first. You should check out the new blog of a good friend of mine. His name is Blake and he is the manliest dude I know. We went camping once and he chopped down trees with axes and while cooking round the fire said that we should have bought a live calf to kill, skin and eat! He also goes spear fishing on his days off and recently went head to head with a reef shark over a potential kill. Blake won. He is like a real life version of Man vs Wild
Blake is also working at a Church in the inner west of Sydney and is thinkng of studying theology full time next year. His blog is called Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Secondly, yesterday afternoon I found myself accidentally reading MX on the train ride home from work. I was reading a short article that stated that drinking alcohol in moderation was good for your health. It then stated (quite outrageously) that people who do not drink alcohol had a higher chance of dying!
A higher chance of dying! I confess that I read it a few times to make sure that I hadn’t misread it because that is a big claim. I thought everyone had the same chances of dying regardless of their beverage behaviours!
Made me question whether MX was the quality, hard-hitting journalism that it seems to be!
Finally, I read this in today’s Herald, which made me chuckle audibly on the train. It is a quote from our spunky red-headed caretaker PM who was being accused of using focussed groups to come up with policy. She was defending the use of focus groups by saying that all politicians use them and then she came out with this gold nugget:
(AAP: Alan Porritt)
”Do people really imagine that Tony Abbott read every conservative thinker in the globe, consulted long and hard with experts, sat with his team agonising night after night, looked into the depths of his soul and came out with ‘stop the boats’?”
*SWISH* Nice one Julia. You can read the full article here
At the start of the year I read a biography of Julia Gillard while she was still deputy PM to Kevin Rudd. in it the author recounts a story where Julia is campaigning outside a supermarket in her electorate. An older gentleman approaches her, looks at her poster, looks at Julia, looks at he poster, looks back to Julia and then says: “Guess that was taken on a good day eh love?” To which Julia responds: “And who the heck are you? Robert Redford?!”
The woman has spunk!
So it is that time again! Liz and I recently finished the third season of the beloved West Wing and so per tradition I have selected the 21 best quotes (in my opinion) from the series. There is a mix of serious and funny ones. Cast your vote by putting what number you think is the best in the comments section. Feel free to also put in a reason!
1/ Charlie: Aren’t you supposed to be writing?
Toby: I am writing.
Charlie: I don’t see paper.
Toby: ‘We can sit back and admit with great sensitivity that life isn’t fair… and the less-advantaged are destined to their lot in life… and the problems of those on the other side of the world should stay there… and our leaders are cynical and can never be an instrument of change… but that, my friends, is not worthy of you; it’s not worthy of a President; it’s not worthy of a great nation; it’s not worthy of America.’ Paper’s for wimps.
2/ Donna: I grew up on a farm.
Josh: You grew up in a condo.
Donna: I grew up near a farm. And I was cute and I was peppy. And I always did well on my 19th Century English Literature midterm until you came along and sucked me into your life of crime!
Josh: Hey, I’m not the-
Donna: White collar crime boy! You know what they do to a girl like me on the cell block? I’ve seen those movies.
Josh: Yeah, me too.
Donna: I bet you have.
Josh: Look-
Donna: Sell my farm girl ass for a carton of Luckys.
3/ Operator: Hello, welcome to the Butterball Hotline.
Toby: What the hell is…
Bartlet: Shhhh. Hello!!
Operator: How can I help you, sir?
Bartlet: Well, first let me say, I think this is a wonderful service you provide.
Operator: Well, thank you. May I have your name please?
Bartlet: I’m a citizen.
Operator: I’m sure you are, sir, but if I have your name I can put your comments in our customer feedback form.
Bartlet: I’m Joe Betherson…ton. That’s one ‘t’, and with an ‘h’ in there.
Operator: And your address?
Bartlet: Fargo.
Operator: Your street address, please?
Toby: [picks up another phone, into it] Zip code, Fargo, North Dakota, right now. [hangs up]
Bartlet: My street address is 114… 54 Pruder Street, and it’s very important that you put ‘street’ down there because sometimes it gets confused with Pruder Way and Pruder Lane. Apartment 23 R… Fargo, North Dakota… [Charlie walks in with a piece of paper, Bartlet grabs it.] Zip code 50504.
Operator: Thank you. Your voice sounds very familiar to me.
Bartlet: I do radio commercials for… products.
Operator: And how can I help you?
Bartlet: [sits down] Stuffing should be stuffed inside the turkey, am I correct?
Operator: It can also be baked in a casserole dish.
Bartlet: Well, then we’d have to call it something else, wouldn’t we? [Toby sits down and puts his hand under his chin.]
Operator: I suppose.
Bartlet: If I cook it inside the turkey, is there a chance I could kill my guests? I’m not saying that’s necessarily a deal-breaker.
Operator: Well, there are some concerns. Two main bacterial problems are Salmonella and Campylobacter jejuni.
Bartlet: All right. Well, first of all, I think you made the second bacteria up, and second of all, how do I avoid it?
Operator: Make sure all the ingredients are cooked first. Sauté any vegetables, fried sausage, oysters, etc.
Bartlet: Excellent! Let’s talk temperature.
Operator: One hundred and sixty-five degrees.
Bartlet: No, see, I was testing you! The USDA calls for turkeys to be cooked to an internal temperature of 180 to 185 degrees.
Operator: Yes, sir, I was talking about the stuffing which you want to cook to 165 to avoid health risks.
Bartlet: Okay. Good testing!
Operator: Do you have an accurate thermometer?
Bartlet: Oh yeah. It was presented to me as a gift from the personal sous chef to the king of… [Toby raises his hand and Bartlet catches himself] auto sales in…
Toby: [whispering] Fargo.
Bartlet: Fargo. Phil Baharnd. The man can sell a car like… well, like anything.
Operator: Very good, sir. You have a good Thanksgiving!
Bartlet: And you do, too. Thanks a lot! [hangs up the phone] That was excellent! We should do that once a week.
4/ Bartlet: Were we talking about something?
CJ: I don’t know sir, when I came in here – back in the late 50′s – there was a purpose to it but then one thing led to another and I blacked out. I mean, I can hang in there with the best of them, sir but somewhere during the conversation about anise and coriander and the other fifteen spices you like to use to baste a turkey I simply lost consciousness.
Bartlet: You know that line you’re not supposed to cross with the President?
CJ: I’m coming up to it?
Bartlet: No, no, look behind you.
5/ Cliff: This is bush league. This is why good people hate us. This, right here. This thing. This isn’t what these hearings are about. He cannot possibly have been properly prepared by counsel for these questions, nor should he ever have to answer them publicly. And if you proceed with this line of questioning, I will resign this Committee, and wait in the tall grass for you, Congressman. Because you are killing the party.
6/ C.J: So, the 4-H convention.
Toby: We’re not going.
C.J: I don’t get it. How can you not want to see the butter cow?
Toby: I’m that way.
C.J: You understand it’s a life-size cow made entirely of butter.
Toby: We’re not going.
C.J: There’s also a butter Elvis and a butter Last Supper which has, I swear to God, Toby…
Toby: Butter on the table?
C.J: It’s got butter on the table right there between butter James and butter Peter, an almost mind-blowing vortex of art and material that dares the viewer to recall Marcel Duchamp.
Toby: How do they keep it from melting?
C.J: How, indeed.
Nancy: Toby, you have a phone call in the staff cabin.
Toby: Thank you.
C.J: Butter, butter, butter, butter, butter, butter, butter.
7/ CJ: Let me explain something to you. This is sort of my field. The people on these sites? They’re the cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. The muu-muu-wearing Parliament smoker? That’s Nurse Ratcched. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy, the patients are unhappy. You? You’re McMurphy. You swoop in with your card games and fishing trips -
Josh: I didn’t swoop in, I came in the exact same way everyone else did.
CJ: Well, now I’m telling you to open the wardroom window and climb on out before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and I have to smother you with a pillow.
Josh: [pause] You’re…?
CJ: [nodding] I’m Chief Brombden, yes, at this particular moment. I’m assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They’re going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you’ve been there I’m going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass – What?
Josh: Technically, I outrank you…
CJ: So far up your ass!
Josh: Okay.
CJ: Okay.
8/ CJ: [about the treatment of women in Saudi Arabia] Outraged? I’m barely surprised. This is a country where women aren’t allowed to drive a car. They’re not allowed to be in the company of any man other than a close relative. They’re required to adhere to a dress code that would make a Maryknoll nun look like Malibu Barbie. They beheaded a hundred and twenty-one people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking. They have no free press, no elected government, no political parties. And the Royal Family allows the Religious Police to travel in groups of six carrying nightsticks and they freely and publicly beat women. But ‘Brutus is an honorable man.’ Seventeen schoolgirls were forced to burn alive because they weren’t wearing the proper clothing. Am I outraged? No… That is Saudi Arabia, our partners in peace.
9/ Fitzwallace: Mr. President.
Bartlet: Fitz! Fitz, you old polecat, you old so-and-so.
Fitzwallace: Trying to be “one of the fellas,” sir?
Bartlet: Yeah.
Fitzwallace: Well, well done, sir.
10/ Bartlet: I’m not going to the bunker. There are going to be people who aren’t going to the bunker, and when I get out I’m not going to be able to tell them what to do anymore and I like doing that. Let’s get Abbey to New Hampshire but I’m not going to the bunker. And if you say I have to, I’m walking across the alley with the Chief Justice and I’m handing John Hoynes my resignation. And as soon as he’s sworn in I’m telling him to appoint me his Vice President because I’m not going to the bunker. If the agents come, the agents come, but tell Ron he’d better bring more than a couple of guys.
11/ Donna: “Why are you a Republican?”
Cliff: “Because I hate poor people. I hate them, Donna. They’re all so poor, and many of ‘em talk funny, and don’t have proper table manners… my father slaved away at the Fortune 500 company he inherited so that I could go to Choate, Brown and Harvard and see that this country isn’t overrun by poor people and lesbians. No… I’m Republican because I believe in smaller government. This country was founded on the principle of freedom, and freedom stands opposed to contraints, and the bigger the government, the more the constraints.”
Donna: “Wow.”
Cliff: “You agree with that?”
Donna: “No, it’s crap, but you’re really cute.”
12/ Toby: “We’re a group. We’re a team. From the President and Leo on through, we’re a team. We win together, we lose together, we celebrate and we mourn together. And defeats are softened and victories sweetened because we did them together.”
13/ Leo: “We’ve got to meet with Albie.”
Bartlet: “He’s going to scold me. He’s been at the State Department since Truman. He thinks I’m a kid and that he outranks me.”
Leo: “You’ll be fine.”
Bartlet: “I’ve got to tell him I lost a submarine. Can I make something up like say ‘what if a friend of mine hypothetically…’”
14/ Leo: “I like the little things. The way a glass feels in your hand, a good glass – thick, with a heavy base. I love the sound an ice cube makes when you drop it from just the right height. Too high, and it will chip when you drop it. Chip the ice and it will melt too fast in the Scotch…”
Jordan: “You had a drink?”.
Leo: “I’m an alcoholic. I don’t have one drink. I don’t understand people who have one drink. I don’t understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don’t understand people who say they’ve had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? My brain works differently.”
15/ Toby: “There’s always been a concern about the two Bartlets. The absent-minded
professor with the ‘Aw, Dad’ sense of humor. Disarming and unthreatening. Good for all time zones. And the Nobel Laureate. Still searching for salvation. Lonely, frustrated. Lethal. The one whose father never liked him because he was too smart.”
16/ Stanley: “I think Lincoln did what he thought was right, even though it meant losing half the country. I think you don’t do what you think is right if it means losing Michigan’s electoral votes.”
17/ Bartlet: “Let me tell you, you’re really showing me something tonight. A lot of spunk, a lot of pluck. This game isn’t all about size, you know. There’s a little thing called heart and you’ve got it, my friend.”
Toby: “You know what, old man? The very minute they swear in the next guy you and I are going round and round.”
18/ Amy: “Canadian, huh?”
Donna: “Yeah.”
Amy: “You feel funnier?”
Donna: “No, but I am developing a massive inferiority complex.”
19/ Leo: “Toby, an encouraging word from you to Sam wouldn’t be totally out of line.”
Toby: “Sam doesn’t need to be patronized. He’ll shake it off.”
Leo: “It’d make him feel better.”
Toby: “I don’t want him feeling better, I want him feeling mad. Is there anyone you’d rather have as a blood enemy less than Sam? That’s how I want him.”
20/ Toby: He’s at the Yankee game right now?
Sam: Local news covered it. He said this was how ordinary Americans got their entertainment.
Toby: I’ve been to 441 baseball games in Yankee Stadium. There’s not a single person there who’s ordinary.
Sam: I know.
Toby: You making fun of the Yankees?
Sam: No.
21/ Bartlet: In the future, if you’re wondering, ‘Crime, boy, I don’t know’ is when I decided to kick your ass.
My wife and I are currently watching the West Wing, and it got me thinking the other day that it would be fun to put a poll out there amongst all my educated West Wing watching friends to see what the best moment of each season would be. I thought that I would gather a ‘top 10′ list and then put it out there for people to vote on. However cutting the list down has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do – choosing between classic West Wing moments is like choosing which of your children gets to go to school! Its tough! So instead of my top 10 here is my top 19. Have a look through and make your pick for the best moment of Season 1. I will leave the voting open for a week or two and then blog the results. Unfortunately no blog poll program wont work because the answers are so long. Thus we will do it the old school way!
Instructions:
1/ Read through the List
2/ Pick your Favorite
3/ In the comments section state which quote is your favorite (you can say why it is if you like but that is optional)
Enjoy!
(1) Toby: You think the United States is under attack from 12,000 Cubans in rowboats.
Sam: I’m not saying I don’t like our chances.
Toby: Mind-boggling to me that we ever won an election
(2) Bartlet: CJ, on your tombstone it’s gonna read: “Post hoc, ergo propter hoc”.
CJ: Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.
(3) Toby: There’s literally no one in the world that I don’t hate right now.
(4) Sam: What can I do for you, Bob?
Bob: In a nutshell?
Sam: So to speak.
Bob: We’d like the White House to pay a little more attention to UFOs.
Sam: Are we paying any attention at all right now?
Bob: No.
Sam: Thank God.
(5) Bartlet: We should organize a staff field trip to Shenandoah! I could even act as a guide! What do you think?
Josh: (mutters) Good a place as any to dump your body.
Bartlet: What was that? (Josh: Did I say that out loud?)
(6) CJ: Why are you here?
Danny: I’m here because there’s a basketball team called the New York Knickerbockers who are playing in town tomorrow night.
CJ: I don’t have time to go to a basketball game!
Danny: Neither do I. Which is why I thought we could watch it in your office, while I explain it to you in a patronizing manner, ’cause I know it’s something women usually like.
CJ: Thank you anyway.
Danny: You understand I’ll talk slow and explain it in a way a girl would appreciate?
(7) CJ: What’s your Secret Service code name?
Sam: They just changed them.
CJ: I know. What’s yours.
Sam: Princeton.
CJ: Mine’s Flamingo.
Sam: That’s nice.
CJ: No it’s not nice.
Sam: The flamingo’s a nice-looking bird.
CJ: The flamingo’s a ridiculous-looking bird.
Sam: You’re not ridiculous-looking.
CJ: I know I’m not ridiculous-looking.
Sam: Any way for me to get out of this conversation?
(8) Bartlet: I’m taking pills, CJ.
CJ: Are you actually taking them or are you just carrying them around in your pocket?
Bartlet: You know carrying them around in my pocket was a pretty big step for me.
(9) Bartlet: You know, I was watching a television program before with a sort of a roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with thier boyfriend, apparently becuase the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends’ mothers. Then they brought the boyfriends out and they all fought right there on television. Tell me Toby, these people don’t vote do they?
(10) CJ: I’m back in America now; I have rights. I’m no longer belted down next to the passenger from hell… It was gruesome. If you’ll look out the left side of the cabin you’ll see the fjords. Then we got a history of the fjords. Then we got a quiz on the fjords. Do you have any idea how much I’d like to dress you up in lederhosen and drop-kick you into a fjord?
I had Woot Canal!
(11) CJ: Josh.
Josh: What the hell happened?
CJ: I had root canal.
Josh: What happened to your cheeks?
CJ: I had root canal.
Josh: Why are you talking like that?
CJ: I had root canal!
Josh: Yeah, I heard you the first time. I was just amusing myself.
CJ: I can suggest some other things you can do with yourself.
Josh: Are you in pain?
CJ: I had root canal!
Josh: You’re going to have to stop saying that because you just look and sound so ridiculous.
(12) Josh: Yeah. A long story short, you’re gonna be reading a bit today about your secret plan to fight inflation.
Bartlett: I have a secret plan to fight inflation?
Josh: No.
Bartlett: Why am I gonna be reading that I do?
Josh: It was suggested in the Press Room that you did.
Bartlett: By who?
Josh: By me.
Bartlett: You told the press I have a secret plan to fight inflation?
Josh: No, I did not. Let me be absolutely clear, I did not do that. Except, yes, I did that.
Bartlett: Josh, I’m a little confused.
Josh: Sir, there was this idiotic round robin. It was sarcastic. There’s no way they didn’t know that. They were just mad at me for imposing discipline and calling them stupid!
Bartlett: Okay, before we go on. C.J., if blood is gushing from the head wound you just received from a stampeding herd of bison, *you’ll* do the press briefing.
(13) Toby: You’re concerned about American labor and manufacturing.
Congressman: Yeah.
Toby: What kind of car do you drive?
Congressman: Toyota.
Toby: Then shut up.
(14) Donna: They gotta start the poll, Josh. It’s 7:05.
Josh: It’s 10 to 7.
Donna. No, it’s really not.
Josh: It’s 7:05?
Donna: Yeah.
Josh: That’s ridiculous.
Donna: I’m not making it up.
Josh: My watch says 10 to 7.
Donna: That’s cause your watch sucks.
Josh: My watch is fine.
Donna: Your watch says 10 to 7.
Josh: How do I know it isn’t 10 to 7?
Donna: Cause those large clocks on the wall that are run by the U.S. Navy, say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.
(15) Toby: The Federated States of Micronesia.
Sam: That’s a real country?
Toby: It is.
Sam: Cause it sounds like somewhere the Marx Brothers would …
Toby: It’s a real country.
Bartlet : It’s actually 607 small islands in the South Pacific. Interestingly, while its total land mass is only 270 square miles, it occupies more than a million square miles of the Pacific Ocean. Population is 127,000 and the U.S. Embassy is located in the state of Pohnpei and not, as many people believe, on the island of Yap.
Toby: Why would a person have that information at their disposal?
Bartlet: Parties.
Sam: You’re not going to fire the ambassador. You’re going to promote him.
Bartlet: To what?
Sam: Ambassador to Paraguay.
Bartlet: And what happens to the ambassador of Paraguay.
Sam: You make him ambassador to Bulgaria.
Bartlet: Hey, I like this. Of course, if everybody keeps moving up one, then I get to go home.
(16) Bartlet: Listen, have I gotten any of the names right so far?
Charlie: No sir, but you came damn close on a couple of them.
(17) Bartlet: I am excited about it. You come to the end of a long day, you sit back, you open a beer, you watch a sporting event. That’s what men do.
Charlie: Girl’s softball.
Bartlet: If that’s what’s on, then that’s what they watch. It’s either that, or a cricket match between Scotland and Bermuda. Now, I am an educated man, Charlie, but when someone tries to explain cricket to me, all I want to do is hit him in the head with a teapot.
(18) Leo: What are you doing?
Josh: You looked like you wanted to hug me.
Leo: Man did you read that wrong.
(19) Bartlet: What are you giving me?
Morris: A flu shot
Bartlet: How do I know this is not the beginning of a military coup? I want the secret service in here right away!
Morris: What makes you think that in the event of a military coup the secret service is going to be on your side?
Bartlet: Now that’s a thought that’s gonna fester!
(20) CJ: What are you holding?
Danny: It’s a goldfish.
CJ: Why?
Danny: It’s for you.
CJ: Really?
Danny: Josh said you like goldfish.
*CJ bursts out laughing*
CJ: The crackers, Danny. The cheese thing that you have at a party?
Danny: Oh. Oh. You know what, I’m not 100% sure I was supposed to know that.
CJ: The crackers, Danny.
Danny: Fine. Now I’ve got a goldfish.
CJ: Give it to me.
Danny: No no.
CJ: No, you’ll kill it.
Danny: You think I can’t take care of a goldfish?
CJ: I absolutely do not.
