So my good friend Luke and I regularly email each other funny videos and pictures. Luke is always good for a laugh! Anyway he sent me this picture. Made me laugh out loud. I hope you enjoy…
Boy I do not want to get on Hilary’s bad side!
So it is coming up to Christmas and Liz and I to get in the spirit decided to make some gingerbread cookies!
We had recently bought some cool cookie cutter shapes and wanted to try them out. There was mixed success. The shapes looked good, but we made the classic mistake of using salted butter. The cookies were disgusting, like drinking a ginger version of the ocean!
Anyway, I thought I would share the shapes. Enjoy
The animals before they hit the oven
The finished product
can anyone name all the animals?
Earlier this week Liz and I went to watch the musical “Wicked: the untold story of the witches of Oz”. We were pretty pumped for it and I must admit we did have high expectations, but the show didn’t disappoint!
It was fantastic! I highly encourage you to go and watch it for yourself.
It tells the back story to the Wizard of Oz – without giving too much away you can expect to find out why the wicked witch of the west is wicked, where the flying monkeys came from, how the tin man, scarecrow and cowardly lion became the tin man, scarecrow and cowardly respectively. It is clever and witty and there are lots of subtle jokes from the Judy Garland movie.
The costumes and sets are simply amazing! I especially loved the flying monkeys, the way they looked and moved was wonderful. One scene which had the wicked witch flying and singing was amazing, the lights only showed you her upper half, which totally sucked me into the illusion that she was flying! It was very well done. Plus all the set changes were done without the annoying stage hands dressed in all black thinking that they are invisible, when they are clearly not. The only downside to the set was a massive dragon head with red eyes and smoke billowing out of it’s nose which was only used twice – and wasn’t part of the story. Having said that though, it was pretty cool!
The actors and actresses were really talented; especially the actress of played Glinda the Good. She plays an impressionable stereotypical blonde… and she nails the part, she was having the audience in tears laughing with just a single look! The actress who played the wicked witch was also excellent and had a very strong voice. Having said this if you do plan to go, be prepared for STRONG American accents. When Glinda was hitting her high notes her American accent really came through – so be prepared.
Bert Newtown plays the Wonderful Wizard of Oz and he is just a fun actor to watch. Comedy is like his native tongue and he really makes you laugh.
Liz and I went early and had some OZmopoltans – glowing green alcoholic beverages in these fantastic martini glasses that you get to keep. It was a bit pricy, of course, but totally worth it! We even went for the cheeky second during the intermission.
Anyway, it was a really great night, Liz and I really loved it and you should go see it too!
My mum is the biggest stickler for group emails and most of them get a soft chuckle before being sent to… well wherever emails go when you delete them!
Today however she sent this one through and I had a good chuckle at it! Plus seeing as most shopping malls are playing Christmas carols already I thought it would be OK to blog something Christmassy.
Amen.
In other news… Liz and I are heading into town to watch Wicked: the musical! I can’t wait! We have some pretty awesome seats and have heard really good reviews.
My sister Fiona had a brunch today to celebrate the last two years of serving the EU as a ‘Howie’. It was lovely and a great opportunity to hear about what she did. I interviewed Fi a while back and you can have a read about what she was up to here
Anyway, there was all this lovely food including this cheeky little strawberry!
Bron found it and instantly alerted the family about it! Maybe we are all a bit childish but does that look like what I think it looks like?
Tight red pants, anyone?
So I recently finished uni! I am now a qualified Social Work practitioner, the only problem is I am an unemployed one!
While being unemployed I have been using my time very effectively… for example, I spent 20 minutes today looking at social work jokes and cartoons! I thought that I would share the best with you.
Enjoy.
A social worker asks a collegue: “What time is it?”
The other one answers: “Sorry, don’t know, I have no watch.”
The first one: “Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it.”
How many Social Workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
“The light bulb doesn’t need changing, it’s the system that needs to change.”
None. Social workers never change anything.
None. They empower it to change itself!
None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it’s just differently lit.
None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness.
Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care.
Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. “Help me, I’ve been mugged and viciously beaten” he pleaded.
The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague: “You know the person that did this really needs help.”
So today I went onto iTunes to buy ‘Gold Canary’ by Cloud Control. And to my surprise it is the free single of the week! I got it for free! Score! I highly recommend it to you! I don’t know how much longer it will be up there so make sure you go check it out today!
Last week Liz and I went a bit nuts on downloading stuff from iTunes. Here is some of the stuff we downloaded.
“In for the Kill” by La Roux
“All is Love” by Karen O (from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) and the Kids – this is from the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack
“Brothers in Arms” by Dire Straits
“Girls of the World ain’t Nothing but Trouble” by Will smith
The whole “I told you I was Freaky” album by Flight of the Conchords
Plus “The Distant Future” album by Flight of the Conchords as well
“Little Lion Man” by Mumford and Sons
and some old school Jackson Five
Also I repurchased the American Idiot Album by Green Day as I can’t remember where the one I bought in 2004 (!) is! Was it really that long ago?
Anyway, this is another song I want, but I an’t find it on iTunes. Anyone have any ideas? It is “Meet the Elements” by They might be Giants
On of the most common things you will find in Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is a love of walking and of the country. Elizabeth loves walking and as it turns out Darcy himself enjoys a good stroll! It provides with many opportunities for conversations which develop the story and of course, Darcy’s admiration for Elizabeth. However this question must be asked: would a scourge of the living dead, roaming around the countryside hungering after human brains affect Elizabeth’s love of walking?
Lets read a section of the original version and then the zombie version to find out! See if you can spot the differences!
Elizabeth’s walk to Netherfield to visit Jane
Austen’s Classic: “In Meryton they parted; the two youngest repaired to the lodgings of one of the officer’s wives, and Elizabeth continued her walk alone, crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over stiles and springing over puddles with impatient activity, and finding herself at last within view of the house, with weary ankles, dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise.”
Zombie Version: “In Meryton they parted; the two youngest repaired to the lodgings of one of the officer’s wives, and Elizabeth continued her walk alone, crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over stiles and springing over puddles. During this impatient activity, a bootlace came undone. Not wanting to appear unkempt at her arrival at Netherfield, she knelt down to tie it up.
There was suddenly a terrible shriek, not unlike that which hogs make while being butchered. Elizabeth knew at once what it was, and reached for her ankle dagger most expeditiously. She turned, blade at the ready, and was met with the regrettable visage of three unmentionables, their arms outstretched and their mouths agape. the closest seemed freshly dead, his burial suit not yet discoloured and his eyes not yet dust. He lumbered towards Elizabeth at an impressive pace, and when he was but an arms length from her, she plunged the dager into his chest and pulled it skyward. The blade continued upward, cutting through is neck and face until it burst through the very top of his skull. He fell to the ground and was still.
The second unmentionable was a lady, and much longer dead than her companion. She rushed at Elizabeth, her clawed fingers swaying clumsily about. Elizabeth lifted up her skirt, disregarding modesty, and delivered a swift kick to the creatures head, which exploded in a cloud of brittle skin and bone. She, too, fell and was no more.
Elizabeth lifted up her skirt, disregarding modesty, and delivered a swift kick to the creatures head, which exploded in a cloud of brittle skin and bone.
The third was unusully tall, and though long dead, still posessed a great deal of strength and quickness. Elizabeth had not yet recovered from her kick when the creature seized her arm and forced the dagger from it. She pulled free before he could get his teeth on her, and took the crane position, which she thought appropriate for an opponant of such height. The creature advanced, and Elizabeth landed a devistating chop accross its thighs. The limbs broke off, and the unmentionable fell to the ground, helpless. She retrieved her dagger and beheaded the last of her opponents, lifting it’s head by the hair and letting her battle cry be known for a mile in every direction.
Elizabeth found herself at last within view of the house, with weary ankles, dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise.”
So as you can see the two versions are essentially the same. They both involved Elizabeth engaging in the unladylike activity of walking alone through muddy fields for three miles. However it must be said that process is somewhat dissimilar. The zombie version should be praised for turning an every day walk into an exciting edge of your seat moment in the story! This small section for Austen’s original is mundane and necessary, the zombie version, however, never wastes an opportunity to entertain the reader!
Secondly it must be noted that the story is so great because of the distinctiveness of the heroine, Elizabeth. She is clever and capable, witty and wily, beautiful and ladylike, but also has moments of boyish cheek. These things are revealed throughout her actions in the book but rarely are they given the chance to fully come out and flower! The final battle cry, while lifting the bloody head of the decapitated zombie by the hair, is a spectacular celebration and culmination of the characteristics that make her so amiable to the reader.
Finally, the writing style of the zombie version is tighter and more vivid. Austen uses long sentences that seem to lumber along with comma after comma. The zombie version however has quick, snappy sentences that grasp the reader. Moreover the zombie version cleverly uses appropriate picture language: “There was suddenly a terrible shriek, not unlike that which hogs make while being butchered” readers everywhere can understand that simile.
All round I would have to say that the inclusion of a bloody zombie attack while on the walk to Netherfield adds to the original version of the story.
So it is that time again! Liz and I recently finished the third season of the beloved West Wing and so per tradition I have selected the 21 best quotes (in my opinion) from the series. There is a mix of serious and funny ones. Cast your vote by putting what number you think is the best in the comments section. Feel free to also put in a reason!
1/ Charlie: Aren’t you supposed to be writing?
Toby: I am writing.
Charlie: I don’t see paper.
Toby: ‘We can sit back and admit with great sensitivity that life isn’t fair… and the less-advantaged are destined to their lot in life… and the problems of those on the other side of the world should stay there… and our leaders are cynical and can never be an instrument of change… but that, my friends, is not worthy of you; it’s not worthy of a President; it’s not worthy of a great nation; it’s not worthy of America.’ Paper’s for wimps.
2/ Donna: I grew up on a farm.
Josh: You grew up in a condo.
Donna: I grew up near a farm. And I was cute and I was peppy. And I always did well on my 19th Century English Literature midterm until you came along and sucked me into your life of crime!
Josh: Hey, I’m not the-
Donna: White collar crime boy! You know what they do to a girl like me on the cell block? I’ve seen those movies.
Josh: Yeah, me too.
Donna: I bet you have.
Josh: Look-
Donna: Sell my farm girl ass for a carton of Luckys.
3/ Operator: Hello, welcome to the Butterball Hotline.
Toby: What the hell is…
Bartlet: Shhhh. Hello!!
Operator: How can I help you, sir?
Bartlet: Well, first let me say, I think this is a wonderful service you provide.
Operator: Well, thank you. May I have your name please?
Bartlet: I’m a citizen.
Operator: I’m sure you are, sir, but if I have your name I can put your comments in our customer feedback form.
Bartlet: I’m Joe Betherson…ton. That’s one ‘t’, and with an ‘h’ in there.
Operator: And your address?
Bartlet: Fargo.
Operator: Your street address, please?
Toby: [picks up another phone, into it] Zip code, Fargo, North Dakota, right now. [hangs up]
Bartlet: My street address is 114… 54 Pruder Street, and it’s very important that you put ’street’ down there because sometimes it gets confused with Pruder Way and Pruder Lane. Apartment 23 R… Fargo, North Dakota… [Charlie walks in with a piece of paper, Bartlet grabs it.] Zip code 50504.
Operator: Thank you. Your voice sounds very familiar to me.
Bartlet: I do radio commercials for… products.
Operator: And how can I help you?
Bartlet: [sits down] Stuffing should be stuffed inside the turkey, am I correct?
Operator: It can also be baked in a casserole dish.
Bartlet: Well, then we’d have to call it something else, wouldn’t we? [Toby sits down and puts his hand under his chin.]
Operator: I suppose.
Bartlet: If I cook it inside the turkey, is there a chance I could kill my guests? I’m not saying that’s necessarily a deal-breaker.
Operator: Well, there are some concerns. Two main bacterial problems are Salmonella and Campylobacter jejuni.
Bartlet: All right. Well, first of all, I think you made the second bacteria up, and second of all, how do I avoid it?
Operator: Make sure all the ingredients are cooked first. Sauté any vegetables, fried sausage, oysters, etc.
Bartlet: Excellent! Let’s talk temperature.
Operator: One hundred and sixty-five degrees.
Bartlet: No, see, I was testing you! The USDA calls for turkeys to be cooked to an internal temperature of 180 to 185 degrees.
Operator: Yes, sir, I was talking about the stuffing which you want to cook to 165 to avoid health risks.
Bartlet: Okay. Good testing!
Operator: Do you have an accurate thermometer?
Bartlet: Oh yeah. It was presented to me as a gift from the personal sous chef to the king of… [Toby raises his hand and Bartlet catches himself] auto sales in…
Toby: [whispering] Fargo.
Bartlet: Fargo. Phil Baharnd. The man can sell a car like… well, like anything.
Operator: Very good, sir. You have a good Thanksgiving!
Bartlet: And you do, too. Thanks a lot! [hangs up the phone] That was excellent! We should do that once a week.
4/ Bartlet: Were we talking about something?
CJ: I don’t know sir, when I came in here – back in the late 50’s – there was a purpose to it but then one thing led to another and I blacked out. I mean, I can hang in there with the best of them, sir but somewhere during the conversation about anise and coriander and the other fifteen spices you like to use to baste a turkey I simply lost consciousness.
Bartlet: You know that line you’re not supposed to cross with the President?
CJ: I’m coming up to it?
Bartlet: No, no, look behind you.
5/ Cliff: This is bush league. This is why good people hate us. This, right here. This thing. This isn’t what these hearings are about. He cannot possibly have been properly prepared by counsel for these questions, nor should he ever have to answer them publicly. And if you proceed with this line of questioning, I will resign this Committee, and wait in the tall grass for you, Congressman. Because you are killing the party.
6/ C.J: So, the 4-H convention.
Toby: We’re not going.
C.J: I don’t get it. How can you not want to see the butter cow?
Toby: I’m that way.
C.J: You understand it’s a life-size cow made entirely of butter.
Toby: We’re not going.
C.J: There’s also a butter Elvis and a butter Last Supper which has, I swear to God, Toby…
Toby: Butter on the table?
C.J: It’s got butter on the table right there between butter James and butter Peter, an almost mind-blowing vortex of art and material that dares the viewer to recall Marcel Duchamp.
Toby: How do they keep it from melting?
C.J: How, indeed.
Nancy: Toby, you have a phone call in the staff cabin.
Toby: Thank you.
C.J: Butter, butter, butter, butter, butter, butter, butter.
7/ CJ: Let me explain something to you. This is sort of my field. The people on these sites? They’re the cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. The muu-muu-wearing Parliament smoker? That’s Nurse Ratcched. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy, the patients are unhappy. You? You’re McMurphy. You swoop in with your card games and fishing trips -
Josh: I didn’t swoop in, I came in the exact same way everyone else did.
CJ: Well, now I’m telling you to open the wardroom window and climb on out before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and I have to smother you with a pillow.
Josh: [pause] You’re…?
CJ: [nodding] I’m Chief Brombden, yes, at this particular moment. I’m assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They’re going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you’ve been there I’m going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass – What?
Josh: Technically, I outrank you…
CJ: So far up your ass!
Josh: Okay.
CJ: Okay.
8/ CJ: [about the treatment of women in Saudi Arabia] Outraged? I’m barely surprised. This is a country where women aren’t allowed to drive a car. They’re not allowed to be in the company of any man other than a close relative. They’re required to adhere to a dress code that would make a Maryknoll nun look like Malibu Barbie. They beheaded a hundred and twenty-one people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking. They have no free press, no elected government, no political parties. And the Royal Family allows the Religious Police to travel in groups of six carrying nightsticks and they freely and publicly beat women. But ‘Brutus is an honorable man.’ Seventeen schoolgirls were forced to burn alive because they weren’t wearing the proper clothing. Am I outraged? No… That is Saudi Arabia, our partners in peace.
9/ Fitzwallace: Mr. President.
Bartlet: Fitz! Fitz, you old polecat, you old so-and-so.
Fitzwallace: Trying to be “one of the fellas,” sir?
Bartlet: Yeah.
Fitzwallace: Well, well done, sir.
10/ Bartlet: I’m not going to the bunker. There are going to be people who aren’t going to the bunker, and when I get out I’m not going to be able to tell them what to do anymore and I like doing that. Let’s get Abbey to New Hampshire but I’m not going to the bunker. And if you say I have to, I’m walking across the alley with the Chief Justice and I’m handing John Hoynes my resignation. And as soon as he’s sworn in I’m telling him to appoint me his Vice President because I’m not going to the bunker. If the agents come, the agents come, but tell Ron he’d better bring more than a couple of guys.
11/ Donna: “Why are you a Republican?”
Cliff: “Because I hate poor people. I hate them, Donna. They’re all so poor, and many of ‘em talk funny, and don’t have proper table manners… my father slaved away at the Fortune 500 company he inherited so that I could go to Choate, Brown and Harvard and see that this country isn’t overrun by poor people and lesbians. No… I’m Republican because I believe in smaller government. This country was founded on the principle of freedom, and freedom stands opposed to contraints, and the bigger the government, the more the constraints.”
Donna: “Wow.”
Cliff: “You agree with that?”
Donna: “No, it’s crap, but you’re really cute.”
12/ Toby: “We’re a group. We’re a team. From the President and Leo on through, we’re a team. We win together, we lose together, we celebrate and we mourn together. And defeats are softened and victories sweetened because we did them together.”
13/ Leo: “We’ve got to meet with Albie.”
Bartlet: “He’s going to scold me. He’s been at the State Department since Truman. He thinks I’m a kid and that he outranks me.”
Leo: “You’ll be fine.”
Bartlet: “I’ve got to tell him I lost a submarine. Can I make something up like say ‘what if a friend of mine hypothetically…’”
14/ Leo: “I like the little things. The way a glass feels in your hand, a good glass – thick, with a heavy base. I love the sound an ice cube makes when you drop it from just the right height. Too high, and it will chip when you drop it. Chip the ice and it will melt too fast in the Scotch…”
Jordan: “You had a drink?”.
Leo: “I’m an alcoholic. I don’t have one drink. I don’t understand people who have one drink. I don’t understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don’t understand people who say they’ve had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? My brain works differently.”
15/ Toby: “There’s always been a concern about the two Bartlets. The absent-minded
professor with the ‘Aw, Dad’ sense of humor. Disarming and unthreatening. Good for all time zones. And the Nobel Laureate. Still searching for salvation. Lonely, frustrated. Lethal. The one whose father never liked him because he was too smart.”
16/ Stanley: “I think Lincoln did what he thought was right, even though it meant losing half the country. I think you don’t do what you think is right if it means losing Michigan’s electoral votes.”
17/ Bartlet: “Let me tell you, you’re really showing me something tonight. A lot of spunk, a lot of pluck. This game isn’t all about size, you know. There’s a little thing called heart and you’ve got it, my friend.”
Toby: “You know what, old man? The very minute they swear in the next guy you and I are going round and round.”
18/ Amy: “Canadian, huh?”
Donna: “Yeah.”
Amy: “You feel funnier?”
Donna: “No, but I am developing a massive inferiority complex.”
19/ Leo: “Toby, an encouraging word from you to Sam wouldn’t be totally out of line.”
Toby: “Sam doesn’t need to be patronized. He’ll shake it off.”
Leo: “It’d make him feel better.”
Toby: “I don’t want him feeling better, I want him feeling mad. Is there anyone you’d rather have as a blood enemy less than Sam? That’s how I want him.”
20/ Toby: He’s at the Yankee game right now?
Sam: Local news covered it. He said this was how ordinary Americans got their entertainment.
Toby: I’ve been to 441 baseball games in Yankee Stadium. There’s not a single person there who’s ordinary.
Sam: I know.
Toby: You making fun of the Yankees?
Sam: No.
21/ Bartlet: In the future, if you’re wondering, ‘Crime, boy, I don’t know’ is when I decided to kick your ass.
Today I was in Angus and Robertson and decided to indulge myself by buying a novel! I perused the bookshelves until I settled on a book that had interested me since I first heard about it. I am referring of course to “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” – Seth Grahame-Smith’s reworking of the Austen classic.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
I read Pride and Prejudice earlier this year and thoroughly enjoyed it! Although I don’t have a framed poster of Colin Firth as Darcy coming up out of the lake, I would still call myself a Pride and Prejudice fan.
Does the fact that I like Austen make me any less manly?
It most certainly does. Sigh
Anyway, I thought it might be fun to compare the two books at key points to see if the inclusion of Zombies enhances the original story, or takes away from it. I think that I am in a good position to be a good judge on this front, as I am both an Austen fan and a lover of good zombie movies such as the Resident Evil series and of course Shaun of the dead.
The format will be simple. I will post an excerpt from the Austen original and then an excerpt from the Zombie version at the same point in the story. I will then offer my reflections.
Here we go
The all important opening paragraph.
Austen’s classic: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property as some one or other of their daughters?
Zombie version: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. Never was this truth more plain than during the recent attacks at Netherfield Park, in which a household of eighteen was slaughtered and consumed by a horde of the living dead.”
Zombies. Never a welcomed guest at a ball, they have worse manners than Mr Darcy!
Upon reading Austen’s classic opening, most readers would have a small chuckle to themselves; Austen’s signature wit is spot on and is sure to bring a smile to the readers face. The zombie version by comparison brings a worrying frown to the reader’s disposition. “Slaughtered and consumed by a horde of the living dead”? That is very worrying. One of the great things about the original is the laugh out loud wit that Austen employs, thus it is disappointing for the zombie version to start with such a grim subject.
However, having said this, the zombie version is very astute in giving the reason for why Netherfield Park is empty! It makes perfect sense for a beautiful country house to be vacant after its inhabitants were brutally murdered by the very vermin of hell. Austen fails to inform her readers of the reason Netherfield Park is vacant, something that I feel she has clumsily overlooked! To suggest that there would not be a good reason why such an elegant property would not be occupied is not only poor writing, but it’s simply had to believe. A zombie attack is a much more believable reason for the vacancy of Netherfield Park.
Thus although the zombie version lacks the humour of the Austen original, it adds depth to the story and helps fill in some of Austen’s unexplained plot holes.
Thus, all in all, I think the zombie version enhances the original! But will this be true of all the parts of the story? We will have to wait and see!
